Monday, March 16, 2009
Post 5: Interpersonal Conflict
Interpersonal conflicts have to managed very carefully as relationships can be strained. Any wrong move will only aggravate the situation and make it harder to resolve the problem.
This is a scenario about the interpersonal conflict between family members….
A and B are siblings who are in their mid-teenage years. B is the older brother and A is the sister. They are only one year apart. Thus, they are very closely bonded. Recently, A started noticing that B has been having frequent coughs and his lips seemed to be darkened. The cigar stench on his clothes further confirmed her suspicion about her brother’s smoking habit. Upon confrontation, B admitted that he has been smoking occasionally for the past few months. A asked B to quit smoking and B agreed to stop and made A promise that she will not tell their parents about him. B did not quit despite several requests from A. A is afraid that B will be addicted to smoking if he does not quit anytime soon. She wanted to inform her parents since they will be a better situation to convince him to stop smoking. However, she did not want to get her brother into trouble as she was afraid he will feel betrayed and their relationship will be strained thereafter. Eventually, she told her parents. Her parents started reprimanding B and become stricter with his behaviour. B feels betrayed and has been giving A the cold shoulder for days. If you were A, what would you do?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Rathi,
ReplyDeleteI would be proud of having a sister like A. A, in my mind, is an angel sent by the God and is to save B, the brother.
Although B is one year older than A, A is much seemed like a older sister to B. In my prospective, B' mind still remains at a boy's stage. He did not understand why B "betrayed" him. He has not realized what B had done is for his own good. So, B started a cold war with A, his younger sister.
If I was A, I would not explain anything to B. I would just let time goes and wait for the day when my older brother becomes mature. At that day, he will finally realize his mistake and my kind heart.
Regards,
Chen Zhi
Dear Rathi,
ReplyDeleteYou are always presenting interesting yet tough scenarios. =) but among family members, as the saying goes “blood thicker than water,” I am sure family members can never have a cold war going on for long.
I think at this stage, probably B did not understand why A did that despite her promise to him that she would not spill the beans. A should find ways to convince her brother that she still cares, and to communicate to him that it was for his own good for the things that she did. Firstly, she should maybe try to find time to talk to her brother, to apologize first for breaking the promise and explain she did all that. If her brother still did not wish to listen to her, she could start using actions to prove her love and concern for him. Probably ways like leaving notes at his desk, “I am sorry for breaking the promise but I just want to let you know that I still care for and love you very much. And that was why I told our parents about the issue.” And “I hope you are trying hard to quit smoking and I just want to tell you that we will be behind you all the way” etc.
As they have been closely bonded before, it should not be hard for A to communicate with B, but it is the way how she gets her message across to her brother that is crucial at this stage. Reprimanding and accusations definitely would not work in this case but showing love and concern and support to him as a family is definitely going to help him to overcome his problem. =)
Love,
Huiwen
Hi Chen Zhi,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your view. I totally agree that A is a great sister as her sole intention is to help her brother kick the bad habit. Certainly, he will understand her intention when he starts realising his mistake..
Cheers,
Rathi
Hey Hui Wen,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great ideas you have suggested. Some of these ideas did not even cross my mind..I particularly like the note idea-it is sweet yet sincere..As you have mentioned, blood is indeed thicker than water thus, I strongly believe that B will eventually forgive A and change his habit. I totally agree that family's support is very crucial in helping anyone oversome any problem and that a family's love will certainly move the person to give up his bad thoughts and deeds in life..:)
Cheers,
Hui Wen