A, B and you have been best friends for 10 years. Recently, A went overseas to pursue her further education. As such, all three of kept in contact with each other via emails, chats and occasional phone calls. Recently, A and B had an argument and have not been in talking terms. However, you maintained contact with both as usual.
One day, A called you in the wee hours; frantically telling you that her Facebook account had been hacked into. The hacker had made obscene posts on specific friends’ walls. And coincidentally, these people were her close friends including you. Her pictures were also edited. After narrating what had happened, she suddenly started accusing B for the hacking as she was the only one who knows A’s password and that she must have done it to take revenge. She also claimed that B had specifically chosen her close friends to write the posts so as to tarnish her reputation. After listening to her, you told her to report the incident to the Facebook authority to take relevant actions. Though you were angry with A for not trusting B after knowing her for so long, you couldn’t voice your feelings as you did not want her to think that you were siding B when you should be actually sympathizing with her. You tried persuading A that B was not the culprit. However, A was adamant in severing all ties with B and made you promise that you would not tell B about the conversation that both of you had.
Naturally, you do not want things to fall apart between your best friends. If you tell B, you would be breaking your promise to A. If you do not tell, you would not be giving B an opportunity to clear her name.
What would you do to save the friendship?
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ReplyDeleteHi Rathi,
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed a tough dilemma to be in since all the three parties involved are best friends.
If I were to be caught in this situation, I would tell B to have a look at A’s Facebook account. By doing so, I would not be breaking my promise with A directly and could give B some hints that A’s Facebook was hacked. If B still did not take the initiative to explain to A, I would tell B about A’s misunderstanding towards her and encourage her to clear up the misunderstanding. I believe if B is sincere and persevere to salvage the situation, A would trust her eventually.
It is important that both parties involved in the misunderstanding get to communicate even if they quarrel. At least, they get to hear some explanations and not end up in a cold war. Don’t you think so? =)
Regards,
Jie Li
Hi Rathi!
ReplyDeleteWell written post! I had no difficulties in understanding nor reading it. =) And it is interesting.
Wow this sounds like a pretty bad situation because of the power of the internet. Firstly I think A should personally tell each and every of her friends regarding her hacked account and that it was not her who posted the obscene stuff.
I would try to find an indirect way to test out B’s reaction to A’s hacked account by telling B that I found out through internet. And then maybe I would ask questions such as “Who do you think might have done this..blah blah. This person is really mean.” And see what was B’s reaction. If B started acting uncomfortable or strange, I might ask B for the truth whether it was B who did it. In this way, I would not break the promise that I had with A because I did not tell B anything regarding the conversation that I had with A. If it was not B who did it, I would tell A that it was not B. Whether A believes or not is another problem.
Honesty would be the best policy in this situation. It would be best to solve the roots of the problem, which is the initial quarrel that they had. I would listen to the stories from both sides and determine how serious the quarrel was. But to sort out the problem, I would get both A and B to talk face to face to clear up any misunderstandings and any other unhappiness with me around.
With the initial quarrel solved, the second conflict would be easy. Because when they come clean with each other, there are only two possibilities: B did it. Or another person had done it.
10 years of friendship is very long indeed. I am sure this is a very strong friendship to begin with since it has lasted for so long. And talking to each other face to face truthfully and telling their own exact feelings definitely should not post a problem.
Regards,
Huiwen =)
Hi Rathi,
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage in clearing up the misunderstanding between your friends. Your friends are really blessed to have a great friend like you! Hope A and B would patch up in future. =)
Regards,
Jie Li